Seeing the unseen: Kaleb’s story 

Celebrating Invisible Disabilities Week: October 19-25 

Every October, Invisible Disabilities Week shines a light on the millions of individuals living with challenges that cannot always be seen but are deeply felt. For Erika and her son, Kaleb, this week is more than just a time for awareness. It is their life, daily journey and call to action for compassion and understanding. 

8-year-old Kaleb is brilliant with numbers, builds flags by hand and is a video game whiz – especially when it comes to Super Mario Brothers. He is a proud big brother to 1.5-year-old Tatum and is always ready to throw out diapers, lend a helping hand and make his baby brother laugh. He’s headstrong, full of heart and never afraid to speak his mind. 

What many do not see when they look at Kaleb is that he lives with several invisible disabilities. Diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) at age 2, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at 4, oppositional defiant disorder (ODD) at 6 and more recently with obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), Kaleb’s story is layered and complex. From the outside, it might be easy to miss, but for those closest to him, every day brings challenges and victories that cannot be measured by appearance alone. 

Signs of Kaleb’s neurodivergence began early. By six months, Erika noticed tantrums and delays in meeting developmental milestones. Though he began speaking early, he became non-verbal around age 2 and remained so until he was 4. Thanks to a quick diagnosis and services from Grandview Kids, Kaleb began to receive early interventions, services that Erika credits with changing his path entirely. 

Kaleb’s family has been his greatest source of strength. He lives with grandparents, Papa Kevin and Nana Linda. Nana was there when Kaleb was born and even cut his umbilical cord. She continues to attend every appointment and advocate fiercely for her grandson. Papa works full-time but took the time to build a sensory room at home to support Kaleb’s needs. Even Kaleb’s uncle Dylan, a member of the Canadian Armed Forces stationed in Kingston but who lives in Napanee, never hesitates to take time off work to drive him to appointments at SickKids Hospital in Toronto. This tight-knit family team, which also includes his aunt Ashley, cousin Penelope, and baby Tatum, keeps Kaleb supported, grounded, and loved. 

Living with invisible disabilities brings daily challenges that aren’t always understood by the outside world. Kaleb experiences aggressive outbursts, sensory overloads and overwhelming emotions, many of which stem from trauma, including past abuse. Despite the outward calm that may be seen, there are storms he’s constantly weathering beneath the surface. “People in public sometimes judge us when Kaleb has a meltdown,” Erika says. “But what they don’t realize is that he’s not ‘being bad’ – he’s overwhelmed. He’s feeling everything all at once.” 

Erika’s own journey has been one of learning, unlearning and growing. “I used to be quick to judge other parents and kids, but Kaleb taught me so much. Now I see every child differently. I realize that not every challenge is visible, and not every meltdown means a child is misbehaving.” 

Through Grandview Kids, Kaleb has accessed a wide range of essential services: speech and occupational therapy, physiotherapy, social work, ABA, recreational therapy and participation in the Extensive Needs Services (ENS) Program during their most trying time. Therapeutic recreation outings serviced through ENS gave both Kaleb and his mom much-needed breaks, while social work services supported Erika and Nana Linda as caregivers. “ENS and his entire team at Grandview Kids were incredible,” Erika shares. “They even visited him while he was admitted to the hospital. They fought for him, for our family. I cried when he was discharged from ENS because they had become like family.” 

Kaleb now also receives care through Kinark and private Applied Behaviour Analysis (ABA) therapy. Slowly but surely, he is finding his footing, with increased time at school, upcoming speech therapy and stronger communication skills. Most importantly, he is surrounded by people who believe in him. 

Invisible Disabilities Week reminds us to look beyond what is visible and to lead with compassion. For Erika, it is also about encouraging understanding from others. “I wish people would ask before judging. Ask questions instead of being quick to judge. Even just saying, ‘Can I help you?’ can mean everything. We’re not always looking for answers, just kindness.” 

She continues, “I am scared sometimes for Kaleb’s future, for how the community at large might let him down. But I have a good feeling about his future. He’s so smart and has a great support system with his family and his care team. I know he can have a bright future.” 

Kaleb’s story is a powerful reminder that invisible does not mean insignificant. Behind the smiles, tantrums, quiet moments and the loud ones, there is a child who is learning to thrive in a world that does not always understand him. Behind that child, there is also a village that sees the unseen and never stops fighting for better.